To My Grandfather Rafael

Grief is funny that way.

It makes you question everything. It makes you sad. It makes you hurt.

But most surprisingly

it makes you mad.

I've gotten mad at things I never thought I would.

I've gotten mad at the ground and the dirt.

I've shouted to the sun.

I've held grudges against trees.

I've yelled at the moon and the stars.

Gotten jealous of the birds for being so free.

How dare the sunsets continue to look like a dream.

Don't they understand the world has been shattered?

Or maybe it's just me.

But in between those moments, a little voice inside.

Reminds me to look closer.

The birds move in closer to me.

The trees have been whispering to me.

The wind chime reminds me.

That he is still all around me.

And the world is that much brighter not because he is not here, but because he is everywhere I wish him to be.